Kirsten: In 2017, we did a post that included all of the books we’d read in the lead-up to Cameron getting his Asperger’s diagnosis (you can read it here). At the time, it was helpful for both of us to read other people’s first-hand accounts of life on the spectrum’s edge. It gave us insight into some of Cameron’s traits and behaviours that we didn’t realise were part of ASD. It also helped Cameron afterwards, when he was diagnosed and then looked back over his whole life with a neurodiverse lens, to see how others had also gone through this process.
Me being the voracious reader that I am, plus working in a high school with people on the spectrum (not to mention living with one!), I’ve kept reading and so wanted to share an updated list of books I’ve read and found helpful about autism and Asperger’s Syndrome. Buying and reading these books, whether they be fiction or nonfiction, also helps support neurodivergent authors, who are underrepresented in the publishing world.
Nonfiction:
- My Autistc Awakening: Unlocking the the Potential for a Life Well Lived by Rachael Lee Harris
- Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone
- My Autistic Fight Song: My Battle into Adulthood and the Workplace by Rosie Weldon
- Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults by Dr Luke Beardon
- The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to Be a Better Husband by David Finch
- Neurodiverse Relationships: Autistic and Neurotypical Partners Share Their Experiences edited by Joanna Stevenson
Fiction written by an autist and featuring autistic characters:
- A Kind of Spark by Elle McNicoll
- Show Us Who You Are by Elle NicNicoll
And so the next exciting thing is that we’re finally finding time to write our book! This will be the biggest writing project either of us would have ever taken on. But like our relocation to England, it’s been years in the planning.
Cameron said that he didn’t want to have the book published until he was successful. For him, settling in England and having completed the writing of two novels now (well, one chapter away from finishing the second one!) is success for him, so I’ve covered that off! As for me: I currently have the time to dedicate to putting the book proposal together for the publisher because I’ve already finished up at work in preparation for our relocation. It’s a perfect storm!
So, even though I’ve just gotten rid of a filing cabinet full of folders of 15 years of writing-related paper in preparation for the big move, this week I generated a whole new stack as I prefer to read and make corrections on paper. And I’m loving it! (Most of the time. Some of the time it’s like doing a uni assignment that you really don’t want to do; however, certain information is required for the book proposal, and my frustration isn’t with actually writing the book.)
My goal is to submit the book proposal before we leave for the UK, and printing out all of our blog posts is one of the ways I’m preparing. Our posts are a good indication of what will be in the book and how it’ll be written. We also have so much more to offer: more depth, breadth and learnings. Including the 20-page dossier that Cameron wrote about himself and his life when he first went to see the psychiatrist where he was diagnosed.
I’m going through our blog posts to find: what we’ve covered and what we haven’t; where we can go deeper, whether that be through feelings/experiences, more history, or where we are since it was written; also, narrowing down the first three chapters and looking at what the book will be as a whole. We also want to nail down lots of helpful hints and things that couples can actually do to help in their neurodiverse relationship.
That our book helps people and couples in a similar situation to us is very important, and has always been one of our objectives. At this point, we’re planning every chapter to close with recommendations for what we’ve done, what works, and what others might try.
For the most part, I’m pumped about the project! But due to being chronically ill, I’m also having days when I can’t work on it all; can’t even shower or face other people. We’re in week 3 of lockdown in New Zealand right now and that is taking its toll on us both. However, just like Cameron has, by writing a little each day, I will get this book proposal done, and a whole book will blossom from that.
We can do this: we can write a book and get it published. Watch this space!
Cameron: Kirsten had some suggestions about what I might like to write about here, but said I didn’t have to do what she suggested. That’s a good thing, because I’m not really in the mood.
The last few days I’ve felt like I’ve been swimming in a river of poison and just trying not to drown. The sudden lockdown put me off whatever stride I was in, because suddenly I was living in a house full of people who couldn’t go out. Also, this place is surrounded by dogs, with owners who don’t bother training their dogs, so the fucking dogs just bark all day. Which means I’m anxious from the moment I wake up and have to wear noise cancelling headphones about 6 hours each day.
Now I think of it, Kirsten said maybe I could write about lockdown, but I said I wouldn’t, but now I am. She also said that what I write here does in some way have to do with books, so I’ll get back to the subject.
For a reason unknown to me, I’ve suddenly found myself able to write more than I have in quite a while. As Kirsten said, I write a little bit each day as a minimum, usually while having my oats for breakfast. I am almost halfway through my first edit of the book I finished writing in 2019, Ravenscrag Keep. Actually the part I’m working on editing now, I first wrote over four years ago. On top of that, I’m just finishing up the penultimate chapter of the follow up novel, Ghest A’ Vil. That’s the first time I’ve used the word ‘penultimate,’ which I’m very pleased about.
I now suddenly find that I’m writing a third book, which is the one Kirsten described. Kirsten is very excited about this. When she wrote that this is the biggest project either of us have taken on, I was a bit confused at first because the total word count of my novels will probably exceed five times the length of this new book when it’s done. However, when I consider the word project and all it entails, she may very well be right.
As should be evident by now for anyone who’s familiar with our blog, I rely on Kirsten for pretty much everything. That means that when I’ve finished my novels, I have a big hope that she’ll just be able to take them off my hands and make them physical in the real world. It’s not that I’m abdicating responsibility, it’s more that I have very little faith in my own ability not to become catastrophically confused with any aspect of the publishing process that is more than just the writing part.
I don’t even know how to publish these blog posts, I just write my part and e-mail it to her. Everything in the writing world (and the world in general) changes way too fast for me to keep up with. I don’t think I could do the parts that she’s doing, in regards to getting the book proposal ready. She has strong faith that we will be successful in this endeavour, and usually she’s right about things in the real world.
Man, if this does work, the poor woman is going to have to do a lot of explaining to me, speaking slowly so I can understand, and repeating herself more than once. What can I say, I’m a delight!
Potentially the hardest thing for me will be co-authoring a book. I don’t really work well with people. I either want things done my way, or I just try to do what I’m told. Compromise, co-operation and dynamism are anathema to me. ‘Yes, Kirsten’ will be my apotropaic words to get us through this.
I swear I’m going to squirt though if we do get a book deal, I’ll feel like such a grown up.
I think I’m about finished now. One last thing to note is that while Kirsten is a voracious reader, I am not. Kirsten actually enjoys the reading process, whereas I am almost entirely content dependent. While she is devouring books on autism (which is the sensible thing to do, considering what we’re trying to do) and sackfuls of contemporary fiction, I am reading the following: The Alchemist’s Secret by Scott Mariani; Jung: His life and Work by Barbara Hannah; The Aquarian Qabalah by Naomi Ozaniec; The Greek Way by Edith Hamilton; and Dæmon Voices by Phillip Pullman.
Finally, Nyree Sherlock, if you’re reading this, thanks for the wonderful comment you left at the end of our last post. We didn’t find it until much later, I think perhaps due to computer fuckery, and even though I wanted to reply to it, I couldn’t because I forgot again how to use the blog (see above). Anyway, you rock!
Help! My Husband Has Asperger's . . . 